A Daddy Likey Reader In Distress (or DLRID, if you prefer extremely uncatchy acronyms) just sent me the following email:
I went to get a sandwich and I came back with a mullet! It looks a little something like this:
What should I do? Should I try to rock it (ironically, of course) or should I wear those furry Russian hats for the rest of my life? What about on the beach? Should I still wear furry Russian hats then? Please advise!
Help!
Should've Known Better (Richard Marx version, of course)
So, first and foremost, you need to stop patronizing this sandwich shop immediately. God, can't a girl just get a turkey sandwich, no pickles, light on the mullet, these days?
Secondly, I have to admit that I'm not very well qualified to answer your question. I've had a lot of bad haircuts in my time (and a few french kisses from hairdressers), and I've never had the guts to do the universally recommended "march right back into the salon and tell them to fix it or else" thing. My strategy is more...a lot of crying. After the crying, I usually try desperately to work the bad hair into some sort of shtick--"These giant news anchor bangs are PERFECT for when I need to deliver headlines on live TV in 1986! Heh, heh. Right?"
In fact, my first instinct was to advise you to wear a cape and carry around a few floating, glowing orbs for the next month and insist you're always on your way to a Labyrinth-themed party (fun fact: at any given moment, there are 50 Labyrinth-themed parties occurring in the world).
And that is why I'm going to turn this query over to my readers.
So, what do you guys think? Has anyone out there ever done the "march back into the salon" thing and lived to tell the tale? Is anyone totally owning a mullet right now? Do you all enjoy the Russian-hat-on-the-beach imagery as much as I do? Please help your fellow reader, and, in doing so, help all the bad haircut victims of the world!
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